


Because I Love Him

by tompolland



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I promise this is good, Injury, MAJOR spoilers for Infinity War, PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, Sick Peter Parker, This is cute, he’ll get better, i guess, i’m really sorry, very sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-06 21:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14656152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tompolland/pseuds/tompolland
Summary: Y/N (Reader) is an Avenger! (And I suck at summaries!) And Peter Parker is obviously interested, but she pays him no mind until a turning point in the Avengers. And then there’s some shit that goes down from there. Enjoy!





	1. Maybe Later, Parker

**Author's Note:**

> Okay kiddos, this is my first time posting a fic on here XD Sorry if it sucks, but constructive criticism is welcome! 
> 
> AND I SWEAR THIS STORY IS A LITTLE BIT GOOD BUT OOF 
> 
> people will be yelling at me!

“Hey!” a voice yelled from above you. You looked up to see Peter Parker with his web slingers latched around his wrists, hanging from the ceiling.

“Hey Parker,” you reply, and continue making your way downstairs. Behind you, you hear Peter’s feet lend gently on the metal staircase and follow you.

“Whatcha up to, Y/N?” he asks, stepping beside you.

“Going back to my room.”

“Oh. I see.”

“And then I’ll be in the dining area for dinner. As usual, Spider-boy. Don’t get your suit in a twist.”

He blushes, and stops on a step. “See you then!”

You nod and hum in agreement, but never look back. Instead, you continue your way down the stairs and down the hall to your suite.   
About two hours later, you head back up to the dining area. Most of the Avengers are there, but you find it odd that Peter isn’t. Sighing, you sit with Wanda and Natasha, until you finish your meal and simply talk for a while.   
Thirty minutes after you came up to eat, Peter enters the dining area. He gets some food for himself and sits alone at one end of the table, while everyone else goes to drop of their dishes. You’re the last one to do so, and you can feel Peter staring at your back.

“What is it, Parker?” you ask, turning and glaring at him.

He fails to hide his blush. “Oh... n-nothing, Y/N,” he says, and turns his back towards you to eat. All by himself, in the dining room.   
You step out of the room, and you hear a heavy sigh and a think that sounds suspiciously like a forehead slamming the table. When you peek back into the dining area, you see Peter with his fork in his hands and his head resting on the table, his eyes closed and whispering to himself. You can’t help but feel bad for him, poor Peter Parker. It could be a poem. A poem for poor Peter Parker.   
You leave once more, and head back to your suite for the second time that day.

The next day, training went by as usual. Your abilities were controlling the weather, which was actually very useful in situations with the Avengers. Dinner rolled around, and you were surprised to find Perter already there, a pair of geeky glasses perched on his nose and his hair ruffled in a gorgeous way. No... stop. Not gorgeous. Shut up, Y/N.   
He looks up from the book he is reading, and stops playing with the fork resting in his salad.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says softly.

You offer a small smile back, and sit across from him with your soup. “Hey there, Parker.”

He looks up at you again, surprised that you’re not ignoring him and sitting somewhere else. He smiles to himself, and you eat your dinner in a comfortable silence until Thor and Tony come stumbling in, dragging Natasha and Bruce behind them. The volume increases significantly, and Peter looks like he’s having a hard time concentrating. He shuts his book and tucks it under his arm, picking up his half-empty plate and stacking it upon the others.  
You watch as he leaves and runs down the stairs. Sighing, you get up as well and put your plate on his before following him down.

“Peter?” you call.

The sound of his soft footsteps come to a halt somewhere below you, and you make your way down to his level.

“Yes, Y/N?”

You bite your lip. “Good night, Peter,” you say quietly, and reach up to peck his cheek.   
You can feel his cheeks warm up at the gesture, and he hefts the book under his arm.

“Good night, Y/N,” he replies, so softly you almost didn’t hear.

Smiling to yourself, you continued your way down the stairs until you reached the level your suite was on, and unlocked your door to get ready for bed.


	2. Turning Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a short chapter, but most of them are just because of the format of the story. Enjoy!

Peter Parker had never been your friend... not really. Sure, you knew him and you were friendly around each other, but you never quite clarified what you were.   
The Days after the incident on the staircase were like any other day. Simple pleasantries exchanged, and then training. You didn’t eat with him at lunch, but you still felt bad when he ate alone. He felt a little saddened by this, but he never said anything. Or if he did, nobody heard him.  
It was when the ‘civil war’ between the Avengers was beginning that you did it. You didn’t want to choose sides, but you had to. The Captain held out his hand, and Iron Man did the same. Yet there on Iron Man’s side was Peter Parker-

holding out his own hand to you. 

Time seemed to freeze around you. You took a step forward, the ground crunching under your feet. And then your hand came in contact with the smooth, red fabric that covered Peter’s hand. You gripped it, and looked up into his eyes. His goddamn gorgeous hazelnut-chocolate eyes. He smiled, and pulled you into a hug.   
When the fighting was over, and the Captain was gone, you and Peter came to become the best of friends. He would suit up at night and take you to some secret rooftop, where you would talk until the moon was high above you. Then, you would swing back to the Avengers Tower and he would take you to your room like a gentleman. 

And then you had the argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND YES I KNOW DURING CIVIL WAR IT DOESN’T HAPPEN LIKE THAT FIGHT ME


	3. And So It Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is a bit long... enjoy!

There was a dangerous mission, involving a gang of alien weapon smugglers. They had gotten ahold of a very dangerous extraterrestrial bomb, and were threatening to use it to take control over the entirety of North America.   
It was a quiet Tuesday night. You and Peter were sitting on the edge of a particularly tall building, swinging your legs and eating ice cream. You thought it was strange that Peter was so silent, but when you opened your mouth to speak, he cut you off.

“Mr Stark wants me to go on the mission.” 

You opened your mouth to speak once more, but he cut you off again.

“Without you.” 

You froze. “What?!” 

Peter put down his cone and looked at you. “I-I’m sorry, Y/N. I suppose he wants you safe for the time being, and...”

You bit your lip. Safe?! You were never safe in the first place. “And what?” you snapped, and Peter winced. “I’m not safe, this job isn’t safe anyway, Peter!” 

He sighs. “I don’t think you should come either, Y/N... I want you safe because... because...”

And there it is. Precious Peter Parker. He sighs and hangs his head. You move closer to him on the edge of the roof. 

“Peter?” you whisper. “Peter, look at me.”  
You reach over and cup his cheek, and lift his chin to look at you. His lower lip is pouting, and you feel your anger melt away at the sight of his brown puppy-dog eyes. 

He opens his mouth to speak, but instead you softly press your lips to his. His eyes widen until he hesitantly begins to kiss back, and soon all that can be heard are soft sighs and lips smacking against each other, accompanied by the sound of the city. Above you, the clouds dissipate and the night sky is clear, the stars shining and the moonlight illuminating the two of you.   
Eventually, you pull away with a soft pop. 

“Peter Parker...” you whisper, “look why you’re doing to me...”

He blushes and smiles slightly, taking your hand in his and stroking the back with his thumb. 

“I know you want me safe, I understand,” you say, “but I think I can make my own decisions. If Mr Stark wants me to stay put, I will. He’s my boss, and... you’re my crush, spider-boy.” 

He sighs. “Yeah? You’re mine too.” 

You smile at him and peck his lips. “Come on... let's get back at our usual time before Wanda starts talking...” 

Peter snorts, and you grab onto his waist a shirt he slips husband mask on and swings through the city, laughing the whole way. 

As it turns out, it was a good thing you didn’t go on the mission. They were after younger women, but the “Avengers” (civil war, people) made sure the ones that had been were returned home, and the bombs were deactivated. But of course, there as he fact that one had gone off: small, nearly deactivated. Injured a few people.   
A few people.   
Peter.   
You were running towards the medical wing as on as you heard. When you got there, Peter was in nothing but a sheet covering his lower half. There were major burns on his chest, but his hair had been cleaned and he was asleep on peaceful. You let out a choked sob and took his hand, rubbing the back of it with your thumb.   
“Peter, Oh Peter...” you whisper, kissing his palm. “Foolish, precious, Peter Parker.” 

It takes him a few hours to wake up. When he does, he groans and tears slip down his cheeks.   
“Y/N?” he moans.   
You immediately lean over him, taking his hand in yours. “I’m here, my love,” you whisper. “Took quite a crack.”   
He grins, his eyes closing as he swallows. “I’m glad you’re safe, Y/N,” he says, his voice hoarse. You grab a bottle of water that was left by a nurse. 

“Drink up, Peter,” you say, tipping the bottle back and resting two fingers under his chin to help him. Once he’s taken a few sips, you lift it to stop the flow and cap it. He smacks his lips before his head sinks back into his pillow, and he falls asleep. You smile down at him as you stroke his hair. 

The next day, you’re still sitting in the chair next to Peter’s bed, holding his hand. You hear a groan, and he slowly opens his eyes. 

“Hey there, sleepy head,” you whisper, stroking his forehead. 

He looks up at you and offers a small smile. “Hey again, Y/N.”   
Slowly, he sits up and grimaces as he does so. “God, that hurts...” 

You laugh and cross your arms. “Well, that’s what you get for nearly blowing up.” 

He laughs as well, but winces and clutches his side. “I-I did it though, yeah? The smugglers... they’ve been stopped...” 

You nod, and kiss his forehead. “Yeah, Peter. You did it.” 

—————————————————————————

A few days passed, and Peter was cleared to leave. He had a crutch, which he absolutely hated, but you made sure he kept using it instead of his web-slingers.   
His room was temporarily moved closer to the dining room, and he wasn’t allowed to train until he was off his crutch and out of the cast. He wasn’t happy about that either, but you made sure to keep him company in the dining room.   
When he was finally scot-free, he took you to the tallest viewpoint over New York: The Empire State Building. You held onto him as he stuck to the spire and looked out over the city. He kissed you then, and you held onto his chest as your tongues danced, surrounded by a city that never sleeps. 

Your relationship with Peter as slow-moving, but that was what you both agreed on. It was hard sometimes, being superheroes and doing the dating thing. But you loved him, even though you hadn’t told him yet. Eventually, but not so soon.   
Life was good with the “Avengers,” even if a few members were missing. Training helped you and Peter improve your skills, and Tony worked on improving your suits. You and Peter still had your outings over the city, or sometimes out on the street like a normal couple. 

That was before Thanos and the Infinity War.


	4. Author’s Note!

Hey kiddos! I’m just letting you know that this story is almost complete and could be uploaded over the course of the next few days. HOWEVER! I decided to rewrite the next chapter, so you’ll be waiting a bit longer. <3 :) -TH


	5. Infinity War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry, guys. This is where the spoilers really begin. *Runs and hides*

 You were riding on the bus next to Peter, your head resting on his shoulder. It would be a nice field trip, especially since you got to sleep on the bus with your boyfriend as a pillow. Suddenly, you felt him jerk besides you.

“Peter?” you say, already falling asleep. “What’s going on?”

But he doesn’t hear you. Or if he does, he doesn’t say anything. “Ned, I need you to cause a distraction,” is all he says.  
Of course, you are sure that Ned’s immediate reaction is not the one Peter really wanted, but it’s a distraction nonetheless. He unzips his bag, and there it is. The Spider-Man suit.

“Peter!” you say again, louder. By now, you have definitely seen the large space-ring in the sky. He looks up at you. “Peter, what’s going on?” you ask, cupping his cheek and looking worriedly into his eyes.

He avoids your gaze. “I’ve got to go,” be says quietly, and pecks your lips. You linger for a moment on his lips, and frown. “I could come with you though!”  
Peter looks at you, guilt on his face. Your eyes widen. “Oh no you don’t...” you mutter, and he pulls back his sleeve to reveal his web-slinger.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” And with that, you’re stuck to the seat, yelling for Peter as you watch him disappear towards the city.  
  
-

Long story short, you got Ned to help you out of Peter’s web. It was only your hand, so it wasn’t extraordinarily difficult. But by that time, you were worried and slightly angry. How dare he, especially after the last mission when you helped him and the Avengers against a science experiment gone wrong.  
You were back in the city, but the damage had already been done. You didn’t have a way to get to the Avengers HQ or Wakanda, and you definitely couldn’t get to Peter, if he was on the spaceship.  
So you were left to come up with your own plan. Hours passed before you finally came up with a reasonable one.  
It wasn’t the first time you had tried to use your powers of weather to transport you. You had done it during training, with great effort. But you were determined to at least go to Wakanda, if you couldn’t go to space with Peter.  
Using your arms and mind, you conjured up a large grey cloud, wrapping yourself within it. And with a spring of your legs, you were in the air, flying towards Wakanda.

You had gone as fast as possible, so it was a mere few minutes before you touched down in front of the palace. Except there was nobody there in sight. You groaned when you looked towards the barrier and saw all the alien tech, and began running towards the hordes of good and evil.  
By the time you got there, only Thanos’s monsters and Wakanda’s army were fighting on the field. You heard a loud noise from the forest, and sprinted towards it. Dark clouds began to form from your lack of control. When you reached the woods, you saw the worst thing possible. Well, that and a raccoon.  
Thor was leaning over Thanos, his... axe? stuck into his chest. But Thanos seemed to be grinning.  
The Vision was grey and lifeless on the ground. Wanda was crying over him. All the other Avengers seemed to be watching as seconds ticked by, until Thanos simply said:

“You should’ve gone for the head.”

And snapped his fingers. 

-

Light— time, stopped— and then, you opened your eyes to the forest. Blinking, you swallowed down the growing feeling of nausea. You groaned, and stood.

Suddenly, people all around you began to just... turn to dust. Thanos was gone in a flash of blue.  
Wanda, T’Challa, Bucky, and a few others. All gone.  
You knew what Thanos had done. He had collected all the infinity stones, and had the power to destroy half the universe. And that was he did. With a snap of his fingers.  
All you could do was curse yourself for being so late, and fall to your knees. You let out a series of sobs, until you hung your head and folded your hands together, begging the Universe to keep you alive. To keep Tony alive, wherever he was.

To keep Peter Parker alive. 

* * *

 

The remaining Avengers went back with you to New York. The city was in devastation, which could only meet the entire universe was pulsing and shivering in pain and loss. You were hungry, angry, cold, and grieving along with it.  
All because of that purple bastard of a raisin. He was probably out there, smiling to himself over his “victory.” So many people had just turned to dust, all for his so called “balance.” And he still has all the stones, making him the most powerful being in the universe.  
When you arrived at Avengers HQ, you immediately locked yourself in your room. About two hours later, you hear a loud humming noise from outside. You let yourself out of your room, and out into the open. A large space ship thing was coming in for landing, a contrast against the dark grey sky. When it was grounded, the hatch at the bottom opened, and out walked Tony Stark.  
  
“Y/N...” he says, and something like relief flashes across his face, until it is replaced by realization and sorrow. You take a step closer to him, the ground scrunching under your cargo boots. You manage a sad smile, and your eyes are tearing up. At least he’s alive, and if Peter was with him, he should be too.

“Hey Mr Stark,” you say quietly, and take another step. You peer behind him into the ship. “Is Peter with you? He left me on the bus...”

Tony bites his lip, and you realize something. There’s a deep pain in his eyes, something like fatherly protectiveness and grief. Silence.

Your blood pounds behind your ears. “No,” you choke out. You take a step, but stumble to the side like a drunk kn the streets of New York late at night. “No, no, Mr Stark, please, no... tell me he didn’t...” you whimper, and your eyes begin to water.

“I’m sorry,” is all Tony can say.

You shake your head, tears clouding your vision. “No,no, nonononono NO! NO, I SHOULD’VE BEEN THERE! I SHOULD’VE BEEN THERE! I-IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME!!” You sob as you fall into Tony’s arms. “WHY HIM?!”

  
Tony rubs your back, and lets a few tears of his own slip down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, kid, I’m so sorry...” he whispers. “I held him, if that matters. He wasn’t alone.” 

  
 More sobs cause your shoulders to shake, until you’re left heaving for breath. Finally, you head inside, hiccuping the whole way. You go straight to your room, and burry your face in your pillow.  
You only replay the final moments you had with Peter, the brief peck on your lips, before the cruel, cruel, universe tore him from your grasp. And you sob until your out of tears, and your eyes and cheeks are raw.

 That night, the rain and thunder never stopped over New York. The wind could almost be described as someone howling in despair after the events of the day.

* * *

 Peter Parker was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY ;-;


	6. The End... and the Beginning (Again)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys... this chapter is really sad. I’m warning you. But it’s good too, I promise! Thanks for reading! <3  
> (Also, I HIGHLY recommend listening to the song ‘Infinity War’ on the IW soundtrack! Time the last little piano but with the final sentence. It’ll be worth it :))

_3 months later_

Three months. Three months since you learned that the love of your life was dead. Killed by a raisin who though he was doing to universe some good. What a twisted mind. You had forced Tony to tell you Peter’s final words.

_Mr Stark?_

_I don’t feel so good..._

_I don’t know- I don’t know what’s happening, I-_

_I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go, Mr Stark, please... please... I don’t wanna go..._

_I don’t wanna go!_

_I’m sorry_

You and the remaining Avengers worked together, working your asses off to find a way to get Thanos to Earth. All that hard work payed off when the bastard himself thundered through a blue portal, and presented himself with his usual shriveled face.  
The battle began. As you fought, you fought for all those who had died at the hand of Thanos. You learned from the Raccoon, Rocket, that all of his friends were dead. Besides Nebula, but he wasn’t sure if she was friend or foe. She seemed pretty badass though, which was enough for you.  
You worked together with Nebula to yank the gauntlet off of his beefy violet hands. No more infinity stones for him.  
It was when Thor threw his axe towards Thanos’s head that you felt all your emotions shine through. You hated him with all your gut, you wanted him dead as a slab on the ground, maybe his head rolling around for good measure. With a clean ‘shick’ noise and a loud crackle of thunder, the Titan fell.  
Thanos was no more.  
Silence fell around the street. The Avengers and the remainder of the Guardians of the Galaxy were quiet. All that could be heard was the dying fizz of Thor’s axe, and dust settling all around.  
At some point, Tony had gotten ahold of the gauntlet. You glanced up at him, and he smirked, but his eyes were sad and tired.

“What are you—“

He pulled the soul stone out of its place. There was a blast of orange light, and you stumbled back, covering your eyes. When you peeked, you saw Tony with his eyes scrunched together, the orange light emanating from his hand. You screamed, before the light stopped, and Tony fell to the ground. You ran to his side, and took him in your arms. He winced, and looked up at you.

“Y/N...” he rasped.

You let out a sob. He was shaking, and tears trickled down his cheeks.

“Hey, Mr Stark, hey, it’s alright...” you whispered, but you knew it wasn’t. Tears were streamed down your dirty cheeks.

He looked up at you. “Y-you’re a good kid, Y/N. Pete too.” He gasped for breath. “Be with Peter. You know... you know why... oh god, why do you stay with him always? Why do you care so much, why- why are you grieving?”

Your jaw drops, and your eyes widen. You struggle to find words, as more tears slip down your cheeks.

“Why, kid, why?” Tony gasps, and his grip on your hand tightens.

“B-because...” you swallow, “because I love him,” you finish, whispering.

Tony nods, and his eyes close. “Yeah, we knew kid,” he says quietly.

“Mr Stark? Please, just hold on...”

He lets out a breath. “Mr Stark?”

He stills.

You stop, and a sob forces its way out of your throat. Your face contorts into agonistic sorrow, and you fumble with Tony’s iron-clad hand.

“No... no! NONONONONO!” you sob. The soul stone glows passively in his other hand.

“I can’t lose you too...” you whisper, your voice strained. Kissing the back of his hand, you let it fall to the ground and you stroke some hair out of his eyes before closing them.

You can feel the other Avengers’ eyes on you. You whirl around, and the sky darkens.

“What?!” you snap.

Natasha flinches, and you can tell that she let a few tears of her own loose. “Th-there’s someone here. For you.”

You stand and take a few steps forward to get a better view of whoever it is. The group moves aside for you.

Behind them...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...stands Peter Parker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEHE sorry for the cliffie, and the sadness. Major sadness. *Cowers in corner.* Update will probably be tomorrow, basically ASAP!


	7. What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)

  _Behind them..._

_...stands Peter Parker._

 

* * *

 

Time stops all around you. Tony did it. He used the soul stone to bring the disintegrated universe back. But most importantly to you... he brought Spider-Man back. Peter Parker.  
  
Peter looked at you, surprise and hope written across his face. You stared at him, your eyes watering. You took a small step forward.

“Peter?” you whisper.

He lets out a quick, airy, laugh, and a small, hesitant, smile appears on his face. “I-it’s me.”

The Avengers around you shuffle their feet. But all you see is Peter, hear is Peter, and... you want to feel him in your arms. So you take a step forward. And another. And he does the same. And suddenly, you’re running towards each other, tears flying down your cheeks.  
When you touch, thunder sounds, and the clouds part to reveal the sun. You’re laughing, Peter’s laughing, and you’re both crying as he lifts you off the ground and twirls you around.  
When he puts you back down, you hug him so tightly, he might’ve though you were trying to kill him if he hadn’t died a few months before. He hugged you as well, and moved back to look you in the eyes.

“Hello,” he says, and he smiles.

You try to reply, but all you can manage is to return a watery smile. “You’re back, you’re here, really, here...” you whisper, and take his hand in yours. Your other hand travels to his cheek, feeling it and remembering the soft touch. He nods, and your lips are so close you can feel his breath. “Peter...”

He leans forward slightly, and his lips are on yours in a tender, loving kiss. Much better than the one before he left you behind on the bus.  
When you pull away, you look up into his eyes, and yours are watering again. “C-come on, Peter. There’s something y-you should kn-know.”  
You lead him back to the row of Avengers, who were reuniting with the ones lost. Rocket the Raccoon was actually crying, being back with his friends.  
But you and Peter held hands as you walked past them, to Tony’s body. Peter knelt down beside him.

“Is he...”

You nod, and bite your lip in an attempt to stop the tears. Peter looks down at the body, and sees the orange stone in his hand.

“He brought us all back, didn’t he?”

You nod again.

Peter sighs, and gives Tony’s body a quick embrace. “Thank you, Mr Stark,” he whispers. He looks back up at you. “What do we do now?”

You kneel down beside him. “Right now.., I just want to sleep next to you,” you whisper, taking his hand again.

Peter nods, and you grab onto his waist. “Nice suit, by the way. And hair, bit dirty, but beautiful as always.”

He grins, and kisses your forehead before he lifts his wrist and the both of you are flying through the city. You end up at the Avengers HQ, and both of you head into your room to change out of your suits.

“We’ll need to get a combined suite eventually,” Peter says as he sits in a beanbag chair. You smile at him.

“Really?”

“Sure, why not?”

A moment of silence. “Are we gonna talk about what happened?” you ask quietly. Peter bites his lip, and his voice is so soft and quiet that you can barely hear him.

“Not now.”

You bite your lip and nod. “Fair enough. But eventually?” Peter nods in reply. You sigh, and join him in the beanbag.

Peter immediately curls into you, and you gently rub his back. “It’ll be alright, my darling,” you whisper. “I- I love you, Peter.”

He looks up at you, eyes like a deer in the headlights. It can’t have been so soon... not when Mr Stark- not since you’d started kissing an dating.

“I’m sorry if that was too soon, after the recent events, is just that-“

Peter cut you off by pressing a kiss to your lips. “I love you too.”

You slowly smile at him, and wrap him in your arms once more, cuddling into each other. “Welcome back, Peter.”


	8. I Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by a Doctor Who fic I read a while ago, but I can’t remember the name... UGH! Still, enjoy :)

Two days later, Tony’s funeral was held at the Arlington National Cemetery. Everyone was out of their super hero getup, and wearing formal black clothing.  
You were wearing a simple knee-length dress with heels. Peter looked handsome yet solemn in his black suit and bow-tie. You held hands throughout the ceremony, and said a few words before they lowered his coffin into the ground. A memorial was being constructed around it, a great tribute for a greater leader.  
The procession cleared out, leaving you and Peter behind at the landmark. The both of you simply held each other, until you decided it was time to leave.

“Thank you, Mr Stark,” you whisper, before you took Peter’s hand once more and left.  
In the back seats of the chauffeur sent to take you to the hotel, you were resting your head on Peter’s shoulder.

“He won’t be forgotten,” he whispered. You looked up at him, and your eyes teared up.

“Never.”

* * *

 

The next day, the Avengers were on the road back to New York. You and Peter were once again in the back seat of a car: with tinted windows, of course.  
The days after Tony’s funeral were silent. Everyone was permitted to take a break for as long as they needed to mourn Tony. You and Peter worked on moving into a larger room together, and when the last box was unpacked, celebrated by falling asleep together in the bed.  
One night, about a week after the funeral, Peter had gotten a horrible case of the flu.  
It was late, and Peter was sleeping on his side of the bed. You were reading your favorite book, and occasionally stroking Peter’s forehead and checking his temperature.  
Outside, a fierce thunderstorm was raging, and it wasn’t because of you. You couldn’t stop natural disasters like this, so you let nature take its course.  
It was when there was a loud boom of thunder, followed by an insanely loud crackle of lightning that the power went out, and the generators failed.

The crack of lightning caused Peter to shoot up, cry out, and fall off the bed. He grabbed his web slingers and then made his way back on the bed, grabbing your wrist. His eyes were wild and panicked, and there was a sheen of sweat covering him.

“Peter?”

“Dark... so dark, Y/N, must... must keep you safe...” he mumbled as he dragged you to the closet.  
Once inside, he shut the door and collapsed against the back wall. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, since there were a few boxes in the back and the space was very small. Some clothes had fallen on top of poor Peter, acting like a blanket.

“Keep you safe... you won’t... I promise you won’t... fade away...” he mumbled, sniffing.

You looked at him, concern shining in your eyes. “Peter? It’s okay, darling, it was just some lightning...”  
At that moment, another loud crack of lightning fills the room, and Peter lets out a wail.

“AGAIN! I can’t let it happen again...”

“Oh, Peter...”

He’s shaking badly, and his breathing has quickened. The sweat is still visible on his forehead, no matter how dark.  
Hanging above you is your jacket, so you reach up and grab some tissues. With them, you gently wipe his forehead, and then his cheeks coated with tears, and finally you clean the snot that has been dripping from his poor nose.  
You slowly coax him into your arms, and he rests his head on your chest in a fetal position. You don’t stop rubbing his back until he is no longer trembling. Planting a kiss on his forehead, you move to stroke his hair. His breathing steadies, and eventually it is evident that he has fallen asleep in your arms. In the closet.  
About two hours pass when you decide that you need to get out of the closet and back to the comfort of your bed. Without trying to wake Peter up fully, you nudge him and bring him up with you to take him to bed. After tucking him in on his side, and you’ve climbed in on your side, you’re just about to close your eyes to get some sleep when you hear him speak.  
  
“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

When you roll over, he’s on his side so he can look at you.

“What for, Peter?” you whisper, and reach out to stroke his cheek. He nuzzles against your touch.

“I’m supposed to be strong— Spider-Man, who doesn’t get scared by little things like lightning. I’m just... sort of clinging onto you, I suppose. Like I’m... worthless.”

You scoot closer to him. “Listen here, Peter Parker. You are not worthless, let alone clinging to me. You’ve saved so many people, how could you ever even think of yourself as worthless?! You’ve had a traumatic experience, your first major one. It’s okay to cry, to be afraid. Just know that I will always be here for you, to comfort you. I promise. You’re not bothering me, Parker. I love you. My freindly neighborhood Spider-Man.”

He smiles at you, and sniffs. You reach for a tissue and wipe at his nose.

“I love you too, my darling. But you’ll get sick...”  
You snuggle into his side.

“Don’t care. I’d rather be sick with you.”

Eventually, you both fall asleep in each other’s arms, and no lightning or thunder can compete with love.


	9. Getting Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our precious peter gets a little insecure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is nearly coming to an end, but if you’d like a sequel or something... let me know! <3

The days after Peter’s panic attack were no easier. He would often wake up the same, sweating and in a disoriented state. You would perform the duty of simply holding him and rubbing his shoulders until they stopped quaking, and then you would listen to him talk. In a way, you were his counselor.  
Eventually, his fever dissipated, and he was slowly getting better. He no longer woke up once or twice a week, maybe one a month. December rolled around, the only problem he had was finding ways to deal with his grief.  
You convinced him to see an actual counselor, and after his first session, you could see an improvement. By the time it was December 14th, he had reported that he was feeling much better. He would miss Tony, and the experience of death by Thanos would never leave his mind, but it was definitely getting better.

* * *

 

_10 Days until Christmas_

“Steve?”

“Yeah kid?”

“I need to use the lab after hours... can I have the keys?”  
  
...

( _That night_ )

It was very late; maybe even early the next morning. Silently, you crept down the stairs and to you and Peter’s suite. As quietly as you could, you opened the door and turned, only to find the man— boy himself sitting on the couch.

“Where were you?” he asks softly, and you detect a hint of sadness in his voice. But you can’t ruin your surprise.

“I was... working.”

“For more than 7 hours?”

You gulp, and nod. “Uh... Yeah, San needed some help so I just... stayed longer?”

Peter looks down at his lap. “With Sam, huh? And you didn’t think to tell me, or ask me to help?”

You scoff. “I didn’t think I had too! And yes, with Sam.”

Peter bites his lip and stands. “Why, Y/N? Why are you lying to me? I thought... I thought we were always honest with each other. Now, at least. Why won’t you tell me where you were? Are you... seeing someone? Behind my back?”

You gasp and your eyes tear up. “Peter Parker, you take that right the fuck back. How dare you think that I would ever do that! After all we’ve done together, how dare you.” You turn, crossing your arms and staring at the ground.

Peter runs a hand through his hair. “Well, whoever it is... I hope they treat you right.”

“What... Peter, what are you doing?!”  
You turn to see him sling a bag over his shoulder.

“My old room. Whoever it is probably wants to—“

“Don’t say it, Peter. What reason would I have to do this to you? To us?!” You take a step forward, and reach up to cup Peter’s cheek. By now, you have a few tears of your own making their way towards your chin. “Peter Parker, I love you and only you. I want to be with you, no one else. Please... stay. And if you really want to know what I was up to, I really was working on something in the lab. Nobody else was there. But I can’t tell you what, okay?”

Peter hesitates for a moment, before he nods in agreement and pecks your lips. “No secret boyfriends?”

“Never,” you whisper, and cuddle into his chest. “Now lets get to bed... I’m exhausted.”  
Before you can protest, Peter has picked you up bridal style and is carrying you into the bedroom.  
“Peter!” you squeal, swatting his chest. He grins down at you, and throws you onto the bed before climbing in after you.

After a moment to calm down, you settle in each other’s arms, and a warm glow surrounds the both of you.

“I love you, Y/N. Always you, forever.”

You blush, and kiss his chin. “Good night, my spidey.”

“Good night, my darling Y/N.” 


	10. Eureka!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know, there will probable be two more chapters after this one :)

_5 days until Christmas_

 At the Avengers HQ, Christmas was never really taken seriously. But now... it seems to have exploded into a sort-of festive home. You and Peter have been working hanging garland, and you have reasons to believe that Thor has been hanging mistletoe... maybe he doesn’t know what it means here on Earth.   
 The Christmas tree in the lab already had a few gifts under it... some of them are obviously wrapped by the less experienced. A few are little things from you to Peter, and vice versa. But the major presents are safely tucked away in the secrecy of your room.   
 That day, you and Peter were baking cookies and singing along to Christmas music. You tried to teach Thor and Bucky how to frost the cookies, and ended up creating multicolored... creations. But they were proud and excited to deliver them to the rest of the team, so you let them have their fun.   
 After that, you engaged in a snowball battle with the team, which was interesting since you weren’t allowed to use your powers. It started out as teams, but eventually it was every man for themselves. You tackled Peter to the ground, and he rolled over on top of you, pinning your arms to the ground. You laughed, and with ease you rolled him back over, and that continued on until you stuffed some snow down the back of his coat. He freaked, screaming like a girl, and when it was all over, ran after you until you were shrieking with laughter. He caught you, and lifted you off the ground.

“I’ve got you!” he cried, and brought you back against his chest. You giggled up at him, and he smiled back at you. Since yo had your hoods up, you shared an Eskimo kiss.

“PDA, young hormonal humans!” Thor yells, and you and Peter break apart, laughing softly. He puts you down, and takes your hand.

“Truce?”

You bite your lip and pretend to think for a moment. “Alright. Only because I love you so much.”

He grins, and wraps you in a bear hug. Soon after, you, Peter, and the rest of the team head back inside. There’s a fancy lounge room with a fireplace where you and Peter end up with two cups of cocoa and a large fuzzy blanket.

You spend that night late at the lab once more. Steve’s there this time, reading one of the books on Molecular Science that Tony owned.

“I did it!” you exclaimed, and getting out of your chair and brandishing the small beaker.   
 Steve looked up at you, a confused look on his face. “I don’t know what you did, but good job, kid.”  
 You grin, and rush to place the new and improved web fluid in a container. Taking your time to wrap it, you run out of the lab after giving a stunned Steve a quick hug. You stop in the hall where your suite is, and quietly make your way to the door. Sure enough, Peter is sound asleep in bed, hugging your pillow to his chest.   
You smile to yourself, and quietly tuck the gift away. Climbing into bed, you gently tug the pillow from Peter’s arms. He sniffs and fumbles around in his sleep, worry and confusion etched onto his face. You place yourself in his arms, and the fidgeting stops, followed by a soft hum. When you look up at his face, there is a sleepy smile which warms your heart.

You can’t wait for Christmas. 


	11. In My Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew... working on two stories is a lot of work! But it’s totally worth it. I’m so happy with how my other fic has turned out, and this one is amazing. Thank you for reading, enjoy :)

_Christmas Day_

“Peter... Peter!!”

You’re jumping on the bed like a four year-old, but you’re so excited to give Peter his presents. Besides, it’s 8 AM. All the other Avengers are awake, and you know it.  
Peter groans, sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes.

“Y/N...”

“Merry Christmas!” you exclaim, and tackle him back down into a hug. He rolls over on top of you, and pecks your lips. You shove him off the edge of the bed, and fall down with him before dragging him to his feet. “Come on!”

You grab his present from your hiding place, and he does the same. Together, hand in hand, you walk to the lounge where the tree is. As you predicted, the other Avengers are already there, surrounded by wrapping paper and... empty whisky bottles. Typical adults, really. You and Peter sigh, taking your place on a leather loveseat with your presents for the other in your laps.  
 You give Peter all the little presents first, and Peter does the same. When it comes to the new and improved web fluid, you’re smiling so widely your cheeks threaten to hurt. Peter takes his time in opening it, and when he looks a the container, his eyes widen.  
He laughs loudly, and wraps you in a tight hug.

 “Thank you so much, Y/N! This is... this is perfect, is this what you’ve been working on?”

 You nod happily and hug him again. Peter puts the fluid into his web slingers, and experiments by shooting it into the fire. It doesn’t burn. He sticks a small amount to his hand and stretches with all his strength. It doesn’t snap. He hands you your two-part present, and inside is a record player, along with every album by (AN: I love old music, Okay? Shut up.) the Beatles. Your jaw drops, and your eyes tear up.

 “Y-you found all of them?” you whisper. He nods, and takes your hand in his.

 “I know how much you love their music. Anything for you, my love.”

 You hug him again, so tightly that you’re sure he can’t feel his torso. “Thank you,” you whisper, and peck his cheek.

* * *

 

 That night, after a nice Christmas dinner in the dining hall with the Avengers, you and Peter dance to the albums.

 “Tony would’ve been going crazy tonight, with all the alcohol going around. Not to mention the big shawarma platter.”

 Peter chuckles, until the room falls silent until you only hear footsteps and the Beatles. “I miss him,” he whispers.

 You kiss Peter’s cheek. “I know my love. We can visit DC for New Years, if you’d like. See the fireworks, and go to the monument.”

 He nods. “That’d be nice.”

 In the background, ‘In My Life’ plays softly, and you and Peter stop dancing to look each other in the eye. Gently and tenderly, you share a watery kiss as the both of you have tears trickling down your cheeks. When you pull away, Peter pulls you to his chest and gently rubs your back.

 “I love you, Y/N. So so much. I miss Mr Stark, but being here with you... I feel like the luckiest man on Earth.”

 You sniff, and snuggle closer to Peter’s chest. “Me too, Peter. I love you, till the end. Which I promise won’t be soon.”

 He nods, and for a moment, it’s silent. The record has run out. But you’re just standing their, holding each other, until you clean up and go to sleep. 


	12. L-O-V-E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe this is the last chapter... *sniff* Thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! -TH

New _Years Eve_

 You and Peter walked hand in hand in solemn silence through the Arlington National Cemetery. You hear the occasional sniffle from Peter, and when you look up at him you can tell he’s biting back tears. By the time you look back down, you’re doing the same.  
You finally make it to Tony’s tomb, and Peter lets go of your hand to gently lay the bouquet by the foot.

 “H-hey Mr Stark,” he whispers, and searches for your hand again. “I uh... I miss you, we miss you. But we’re happy, and... and you won’t be forgotten. And I just... I just want to say Thank You for bringing me back to Y/N. I love her very much.”  
 By now, you have begun to let the tears fall.  
 Peter shuffles his feet. “Yeah. Thanks,” he says again, and his voice cracks as his shoulders shake. He falls to the ground, and you go to his side, offering him comfort in your arms. He cries silently into your shoulder, and you hold him, simply stroking his back.

* * *

 

 When Peter eventually managed to compose himself, you lead him out of the cemetery. You caught a taxi to the restaurant you got a reservation for, with a view of the fireworks.  
 When the firework display began at midnight, you looked up at Peter to see him looking at you, a smile on his face.  The fireworks lit up his cheeks, but he paid no mind to them. Sowly, he leaned down and captured your lips in a passionate kiss.  
 When you both pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours. “I love you, Y/N. You were probably the best part of my year.”  
  
 You giggle. “Probably?”

 He laughs and pecks your lips. “Alright, you definitely were, alongside some other stuff.”

 You poke his nose. “I’m just teasing, Parker. I know what you meant.”

The restaurant begins to play ‘L-O-V-E’ by Nat King Cole in the background, and Peter holds out his hand to you. 

_L... is for the way you Look at me_

“Care to dance?”

_O... is for the Only one I see_

 You laugh and take his hand, gently swaying with the music and listening to Peter sing along into your ear. You never knew he had such a nice singing voice. 

  _V is Very, Very, Very... extraordinary_

“To the new year, huh?” you whisper

_E is Even more that anyone that you adore!_

 He grins. “To the new year.”

 

_And love..._   
_Is all that I can give... to you_   
_Love... is more than just a game... for two_   
_Two in love can make it_   
_Take my heart, and please don't break it_   
_Love... was made for me and you!_


End file.
